Even SEOs get silly SEO spam emails.  Usually, I delete them without a backwards glance, but this one caught my eye because we recently gave a talk on SEO myths, and Boy, what a bounty this email contained!

Looking for some RSS (Really Stupid SEO?).  Check out the whoppers in this spam email I received this morning:

Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is is missing a few factors,

for one you do not use all three H tags in your post, [Uh, no.]

also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization. [ya’nope]

On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda. [As my dad used to say: horsepucky]

No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. [huh?]

So what is good On-Page SEO? First your keyword must appear in the title. [OK, I’ll give you this one]

Then it must appear in the URL.[not so much]

You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing).[oh, my head]

Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your article.[Wait, didn’t you say this already?]

Your Keyword should appear in your first paragraph and in the last sentence of the page.[Of course, Google knows that all relevant text starts AND ends with keywords!]

You should have relevant usage of Bold and italics of your keyword.[Sir, I think you forget yourself]

There should be one internal link to a page on your blog and you should have one image with an alt tag that has your keyword…. [now this is just getting silly]

The saddest part of this?  Plenty of people get these emails and take them seriously – some even dropping cash on the SEO providers behind the email.  Please, for the love of all that is decent, just say no to silly SEO!